Saying Yes but being unable to deliver can do more harm than good. People may lose respect or take you for granted. Learn How To Say No Nicely.

There are different, more pleasant ways to decline. Take your pick:

- The pseudo-yes.
“I can do that for you but only after I finish my work.”
- The sweet.
“Oh, I can’t got out for coffee and shopping on Saturday. Is there something you’d like to talk about? I have time now.”
- The wistful.
“I love your kids and it would be lovely to baby sit them but I promised to take my dad out to dinner.”
- The honest.
“I can’t organize your party. I have a project at work that’s taking up a lot of my time.”
- The rain check.
“I really can’t see you today. How about Thursday?”
- The succinct.
“I can’t have lunch today. Thanks for asking.”
- The makulit.
“I can’t go to the party. Nope, I can’t. I just can’t.”

How To Say No

Listen before you respond.
Because of our conditioning, whenever we hear, “Can you do me a favor?” we automatically say yes. Ask what the favor is first, then think about it. Maybe you can help out even when you say no (I’m busy on Saturday, but I can come over on Friday night and help you decorate.”) or you can give other suggestions.

Be polite but firm.
People may be extremely hurt and feel rejected if you turn them down. By being polite, you let them understand it’s the favor you’re rejecting, not them. By being firm, you let them know you can’t be bullied into doing something.

Be honest.
The truth is appreciated by all and it also frees you from feeling guilt. When you tell them the reason you can’t say yes (”I can’t take care of your cats because I have asthma,” or “I can’t lend you the money because I’m in debt myself.”), you not only avoid persistent needling, you also save yourself from future favors of the same kind.

Keep it short.
A simple answer will do, while a lengthy explanation makes you look like you’re making excuses. Don’t apologize – you shouldn’t feel sorry you have a life!